Andy Warhol's Ghost

Andy Warhol's Ghost

***

"Ok, after doing some research, I found out others have seen the ghost of Andy Warhol on the Northside in Pittsburgh.

The brilliant and beautiful art student who worked at the museum shared this with us, other amusing stories about Andy.

This relieved m; maybe I am not insane after all.

So I went to the bathroom to relieve myself further.

Then above the urinal,l Andy's head appeared.

He said, "Feel exposed?"

Quickly zipping my pants, I said, "Andy, please, let me be. You are freaking me out. Surely there is someone more worthy for you to haunt. Perhaps our president, just not me."

Andy rolled his tongue and flared his nostrils which shot lightning bolts.

So subdued, I just shut up.

Andy then said, " I want to take a picture of you; follow my head."

So we went to the second floor, where the exhibition Revelation illuminated Andy's use of religious iconography throughout his entire career. His final series was on Jesus and the Last Supper.

"Stand right there," Andy said.

Next thing you know, I am in front of part of his skull series.

"Andy, this is morbid. Can't I go hang with my mom?"

Then I can't breathe, and my heart seizes. I feel like I am dying. Andy then takes the picture above.

" I want you to know that death is real and can be unexpected. I went to the hospital for a routine medical procedure and died out of the blue; this can happen to anyone, even you."

Then I found myself back with Andy's floating head at the urinal.

" My final words for you is that death is real. Quit wasting your life and dance down the spiritual path, and never lose faith. Trust me on this, never lose faith or give up."

Andy's head then disappears down the automatic flushing toilet.

Some guy behind me waiting says, "Do you usually talk to urinals?"

I look him in the eye and say, "Yes, each and every urinal, then sometimes they flush the person behind me waiting into the sewer system, so be careful."

Then quickly, I exit following the sound of Nico's voice back to mom.

Then I hear Andy's voice say, "Post my picture of you with death on Facebook to remind others not to waste their lives.

I say, " Andy, I post the most insane posts on Facebook. People are convinced I have lost my mind. This picture won't help me. Just cause more problems.

Andy opens his mouth, farts, and in a green mist, white words appear saying ``post it, or the smell will never go away."

Gagging I am going to post this, I feel like a victim of chemical warfare. But I have a few things left to do in this life, and this smell which cannot be put into words, is killing me. Hopefully, you will all hear from me after the post, feel I am losing consciousness, green mist, green mist…"

***

David Arndt 2019