I Want To Live And Love As Fully As Possible Now, Not Another Wasted Second…

I Want To Live And Love As Fully As Possible Now, Not Another Wasted Second…

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I feel deep sadness, I can see all human beings vast as space, most never really experienced love and it's such a lonely feeling and I feel a little powerless to help

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I see someone or something It's hazy but something has happened to them I don't know if they're in danger or something's happen but it feels a little bit out of control, outside of my control I look at the faces I can't tell if it's me, because I think I'm trying to help, but they seem to be behind a window I kept find the words

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But life it does I feel feels fragile and I can see you not in person but maybe in my mind and does his feeling of how we can't control things and just feel like I want nothing ever bad to happen to you and feel scared because I couldn't make sure for certain nothing bad will happen with you but I would do anything to make sure nothing happened bad happened to you

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I then see you I don't know Everyone or everything is connected with his green weird web and I see I'll just call death for lack of a wetter better better word I don't know if there's like a neon trace or something but there's something that follows everyone all of us maybe is that we all eventually face death and we don't control how that necessarily happens.

I can hear your voice saying Can you see life's fragile Can you see it David even though you want nothing ever bad to happen to me, you know you can't promise that, because none of us can promise that for anyone none of that us has that power or control we don't know what will happen tomorrow and you have to realize that

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And then I can't see you and I feel this unbearable sadness thinking anything could happen to you or anything will happen to you someday, and I won't be able to help in the way that I want and it scares me 

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My whole experience of life has this flavor of something that's out of control a little bit

We're all bubbles that could pop at any time. That's how vulnerable and fragile this life is…

I just want to give you a hug right now... 😢.... I don't want anything bad to ever ever ever ever ever happen to you... I'd rather something happen to me than you

Though this is an illusory magic show, this does not always dawn as wisdom,, how easy it is to fix onto your love….

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But I'm facing my sadness and terror which shakes me to the depths of my being….

But out of that sadness and pain a beauty arises inconceivable which never would have manifested if I'd not taken the road that was more challenging and difficult which is rarely taken….

I've chosen the most difficult path in life, the path of Love….

I love you My Green-Eyed muse of rebirth and Mystery….

I want to live life with you as fully as possible now, And for the rest of my life, not another wasted second…

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David Arndt November 30th, 2022

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Artwork - Lovers in Eternal Kiss by Jindra Noewi